I miss having someone to lean on when time safe hard. I miss the emotional/physical bond I had. After talking with some girlfriends, I realized that I need to spend more time with others than be alone. I’m always afraid of having someone judge me. I dont know if I should have a roommate because honestly I am weird, different, and I dont know if I’ll be accepted. I accept myself, but does that mean others will know everything about me? I still don’t like everyone to know everything about me. I have no idea why I like to be secretive. Its strange. I wonder if its something I will get over.
I finally have space to breathe. I feel like I have come into my own. I love myself more and more each day. Its amazing how emotions have the ability to alter how your body functions and feels. My friend invited me to her UFC gym to take a boxing class this morning. So, Mica and I went and took the boxing class. HOLY CRAP what a workout! I felt great and then the instructor told us to stick around for the next one! So, we took a Mau tai class and jeezo I thought the first one was intense cardio, but I was in for a surprise. This one was one on one the entire time! It incorporated defense and offense stances, punches, kicks, and combinations. It was great and really empowering! I finally realized that everything I look for in others are things I wish I could do. Guess what. Now is the time I choose to become everything I have every wished someone else to be. why? Because rather than expecting things from others, I’m going to start expecting more from myself. For instance, in a mate I always want to feel protected, but I’m going to continue taking different mma, mixed martial arts, tak-won-do, kickboxing, and more to become self-dependent and have the abilities and confidence to defend myself in a time of danger. I believe it is a very empowering as a woman to be able to defend myself in a time of urgency. I already feel my confidence growing! The next thing I want to tackle is feeling great in my own skin and being happy with my personality.
Yayy! Finally a Tri 3. That much closer to achieving my dream career. Its amazing to look back and see how much I’ve accomplished not just academically, but also mentally. I believe that you really must be a unique individual to be able to push some of these hard times. IF I could send myself one reminder it would be to relax and just be absorbed into each moment and forget about worrying because my biggest strength is persistence! :) I can and will do whatever I put my mind to!!
much love and excitement on this big day!
Seems like I’m a little lost feeling lately, hopefully once school starts I can jump back on the motivated train. :)
Always believe in myself. I need to set some new goals and refocus! :)
Things I want to learn:
Prenatal main points
Get straight A’s
Do adjustments confidently!
Get stronger and lose 10 pounds!
develop long lasting relationships
So today was the last day of finals. Thank goodness! It feels good to feel like I gave it my all and now I can enjoy my time. I am proud of myself for sticking to it and doing my best. So, tonight I was planning on going out with my trimates. I got ready then hung out at one of the girls house with everyone, but one of my friends starting chatting with me about everything and we decided to chat rather than go out to the bar. I taught dancing with others and chatting the night away and forgetting about everything would make me feel better. But after we talked I realized that all that stuff doesn’t matter as much to me as I thought. I actually don’t like going out with people I dont know really well. So Lynssey and I just talked for a few hours. I thought it was going to be about life and boys, but it turned out she had a bigger problem…Biochem. It can be a nightmare it was for me too. She is struggling with her living situation and lifestyle. Together we planned out a plan for production rather than feeling bad for herself. She wrote down things that were bothering her and we talked about how we could make it better! I thought it was great and I can sympathize with her because I failed a class in undergrad and to do that twice would probably tear me apart. I hope that I helped her a little bit and that she can continue her journey of doing her best and I really want to see her positive self succeed. I want to succeed as well! Also, we both are working on that self-love…<3
Also, this is really nerdy, but I messaged someone that I think is a nice person lets see how it goes!?
thats a wrap! So thankful for everyone in my class that has helped me grow and become a stronger person. This entire trimester has been a struggle, but one of the best experiences I’ve had in a while. There were many times when I didn’t know if I was going to make it out alive, but with drive and persistence and love from my family its been possible. The dream remains the same, to help others. In order to do this I must first help myself and accomplish what I need to. I honestly couldn’t be more proud of myself for beginning to trust myself. This means stop double checking answers, going with your gut/first choice, and believing in yourself and others. This is the true key to success. To be fearless. To have hope. To just do your best.
Much love on this beautiful day!
Finals have begun! B in philosophy…eh oh well I should have taken it more seriously in the beginning, but too late! Then took micro, I feel pretty good about that but we shall see now prep time for biochem anatomy physio neuro, and diversified lets get some A’s!!!! and pass biochehm….
I can do this.